You guys are right: Talk, on New Saxon alone, is cheap.
Don't get me wrong. I spent most of my 'net time here. I've got a Facebook page under my real name and check in with my lifelong friends, but as I have a few liberal, artistic creative friends whose "tollerance and acceptance" would end if I told them what I really thought, I can only get so far in talking to them.
But here's the thing.
When I log off New Sax and the 'net at large. I take this "online life" into the "real" world.
Thanks to a drunk driver, I have an inopporable, permant injury that causes chronic pain. Therefore, the idiot's insurrance company will be paying a small, monthly annuity payment till the day I die.
Because I'm not a bum, and because I earned a degree in Music Theory and Composition, I also earn money "under the table" teaching guitar, bass and piano.
Here's where this pays off for the Movement.
I don't have to worry about being fired from a job and loosing all of my income at once. I gain and loose students all the time, and the settlement assures I will always have rent and groceries.
It would therefore be irresponsible of me not to eat, sleep, live NSM.
Minus the fatigue top, I wear NSM black everywhere. Boot-bloused cargo pants, black steel-toes, black Hanes pocket-T black workout gloves and my ponytail is hidden under a black ballcap. I only wear earrings to metal shows. I have a large Thor's Hammer which often gets Whites talking about our heritage.
And I have black messanger bag full of NSM leaflets and most importantly, I wear my NSM party pin over my shirt pocket, taking it off only on students' property.
Whites are a minority on the bus in my city and often, among Negros and Mexican'ts, I'm the only White. I was terrified wearing the Swastika for the first week ready to be swung on, but I've found that given the gang culture surround their communities, blacks who do ask if I'm out of my got-damn mind wearing a Swastika come away with a sense of respect when I explain that I'm a member not of a hate-group, but of a civil rights organization that addresses the threats to my people.
I actually get more grief from Whites for the Party pin than Blacks.
I leaflet Whites in my town on an average of 10 a day. Working men in their 20s-50s, moms with blond, blue-eyed kiddos in tow and college kids.
I'm not saying this to brag or boast. I know that there are NSM Members who depend on a job that wouldn't tolerate percieved "racism" and whose families would suffer if they were terminated.
What I am saying is that I'm proud to belong to the largest White Civil Rights organization in the US. An organization that will never ask me to commit a wrongful act, even against the lowest, subhuman forms of life in our society.
I'm also very fortunate that I was able to earn my degree in music thanks to my aunt and grandmother.
Because I'm my own boss, am able to wear my NSM black and hand out NSM materials every day and am prepared to defend myself if confronted by somebody whose poor wittle feewings get hurt at the sight of a Swastika.
You see, a Christian saying used to be "You might be the only Bible somebody gets to read." Well, I might be the only, or first, NSM activity some desparate frustrated White ever sees.
Last week, in Downtown Charleston, a White boy of 20 got on the bus after spending all day at Student Affairs at College of Charleston. It had taken him 4 days to finally find a niche for which there was a couple of grants and a loan that would get him started for 2010-2011. I asked how it was going and then listened as he told me all the gory details: "Nobody wants to help White, heterosexual Christians whose mother isn't in prison."
"We do", I said, only after reading my flier, Wake up, White America!!! did he notice the Swastika on my pin.
"Brother, after all the shit I've been through this past week, I was beginning to think that nobody cared about our people. As long as you can tell me you guys don't go out and physically hurt black or mexican people, I want in".
Now, how far he chooses to take it, how much heart he has for the long haul, time will tell.